The dream is over

Bloody Germans.

For you. In your time of need.

Kazım Kazım: tonight's the night

A Brighton&Hove Albion reject he may be, as someone has pointed out on Dissensus, but how can you not like Colin Kazim Richards? He's done the unthinkable for a British (as in, born in Britain) footballer, by gamely moving to a 'foreign' country where he doesn't speak the language, rather than letting his career dwindle in the Football League - and he is something of a hero (and heartthrob) at Fenerbahce already. Sadly this video won't embed but it's well worth watching:

"They were singing some songs, I don't even know what they were singing, I don't know the words to it, I was just jumping up and down to the rhythm."

And as if that wasn't enough he's a local lad from Leytonstone and a Chelsea-hating Arsenal fan to boot.

Even with so many players out, it still looks like our Kazım is starting on the bench for Turkey tonight, but wouldn't it be wonderful to see a second half substitution when the inevitable comeback struggle begins. Make us proud bruv.

Turkey 1 Croatia 1 highlights - Türkiye! Türkiye!

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Absolutely astonishing. The fact that Turkey will now have to play a goalkeeper in attack, that Nihat has gone home, that Arda and Volkan are suspended, that there are only 13 available players, that even Tuncay won't be there to complain about, none of this matters. Turkey will now surely win the tournament after coming back from nine nil down in the Semih-final. Tuncay will return in goal for the final, with Rustu and Volkan upfront. The ghost of Attaturk will inhabit the legs of the injured Emre to help him score a double hat-trick on crutches. This little man will be happy.

Türkiye in Dalstanbul

Immediate reaction to Turkey's winner. Notice Mr. Fenerbahçe social club at the back in the Fener shirt. Cool guy.

Euro2008: Turkey 3 Czech Republic 2 - among the Turk

"Cabuk parlayan cabuk soner," or as the proverbial Turk would understand, "What flares up fast, extinguishes soon." In Fatih Terim's camp of janissaries, they must be hoping that such old truths don't continue to ring true, after Turkey surprised everybody - including themselves - in scoring thrice in the last fifteen minutes of yesterday's clash with the Czechs. Longevity is what the Turks want, but with a difficult quarter-final against Croatia, the Turkish flame may soon be snuffed out.


Better living in the present. HumbleFootball crawled up the old Roman road to the Fenerbahce Social Club, much fuller and more buoyant this time than during last week's doomed tie against Portugal. Yet, several bottles of Efes and seventy minutes later, the mood was still grim in Dalston. Two goals behind and not threatening the unflappable Petr Cech's goal , the Turks looked set for yet another rejection by Europe. Czech supporters sensed victory, including a Czech-heritaged HumbleDan, who quietly hid his glee in very British equivocation.


But, as the Turks say, "vakitsiz oten horozun basini keserler" - "the cock that crows at the wrong time is killed." And that cock was butchered by Nihat Kahveci's sumptuous 89th minute strike, in off the crossbar and totally beyond the powers of an already disgraced Petr Cech. Like a headless chicken, HumbleDan flapped about this way and that, spewing chicken blood up and down the high street. Cue scenes of jubilation in the Social Club, with even certain non-Turk Humblers joining in the throaty Kemalist chanting.


As Turkish yoof poured in for the last few minutes - joining their elder fathers, uncles, effendis, bashas, beys, pashas, etc - we had to survive a nervous finish. With Volkan sent off, Tuncay Sanli was forced into goal. He was worried: "suruden ayrilan koyunu kurt kapar" - "the sheep separated from the flock is eaten by the wolf." But the Czech wolf failed to materialise, and the final whistle blew, sending the Turkish diaspora into the streets of Europe. Cars honked up and down Kingsland High Street, Turkish yoof and not-so-yoof chanted on street corners, and HumbleDan's headless corpse was made into chicken kebab.

Ah, HumbleDan, all will be well. The pain you feel now is but the pale shadow of pain you will inflict upon your villainous enemies. Remember: "ignegi kendine batir cuvaldizi baskasina" - "stick the needle into yourself (to see how it hurts) before you thrust the packing-needle into others."

Turkey 3 Czech 2 - game of the tournament?

Czechs turksmania
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More reaction from Dalstanbul and your Humble crew to follow. In the meantime, enjoy this. Beep, beep, beep - Türkiye!

Euro 2008: Turkey 0 Portugal 2 - Among the Turk

Humble football kicked off it's Euro 2008 coverage in style last night, venturing forth to Fenerbache social club in Dalston, North London. We watched in horror as the assembled might of Chelsea, Man Utd and Real Madrid beat back the Turk. Besides a lone representative of West-West-West Kurdistan who celebrated with his Portugese brothers, the club was misery and smoke. Become a fan of Humble football to see a photo-essay of our exploits. Next stop: Lubuskie, South London for Poland vs Germany.

Armenia vs Turkey - it really happened

Great news from Armenian blogger artmika who reports on the first ever (footballing) clash between Turkey and Armenia, in the European Under-19 Championships. That the match was played without significant incident - a single yellow card and Armenian fans whistling the throughout the Turkish national anthem hardly counts as trouble - is great news. Perhaps football diplomacy will help two countries with no official relations.

Next stop World Cup 2010 qualifying, where the two nations will play each other at senior level - I don't necessarily fancy being in the Atatürk Olimpiyat Stadı for that one though.

More good reading

Though our local Turks will not appreciate this - Ed Vulliamy produced this excellent piece for the Guardian.

A taste: 'Ahead of Turkey's crucial Euro 2008 qualifying match against Bosnia on 2 June, there was an affinity between themselves and the Bosnian Muslims that make up the capital's majority, a bond of culture and religion against their mutual, sworn enemies: Serbia and Greece. T-shirts and flags were for sale combining the lilies of the war-time Bosnian flag with Turkey's star and crescent on a red background. 'Bosna!' chanted the Turks; 'Turkiye!' the Bosnian fans chanted back.'

A great day for mankind...

Welcome to HumbleFootball, your ample serving of international-focused football reportage, brought to you weekly from North London, Tehran, New York and the dark depths of Turkish secularism. As smart as Philippe Senderos, as lively as your mum.

Watch THIS space!