Monday, 16 June 2008

Euro2008: Turkey 3 Czech Republic 2 - among the Turk

"Cabuk parlayan cabuk soner," or as the proverbial Turk would understand, "What flares up fast, extinguishes soon." In Fatih Terim's camp of janissaries, they must be hoping that such old truths don't continue to ring true, after Turkey surprised everybody - including themselves - in scoring thrice in the last fifteen minutes of yesterday's clash with the Czechs. Longevity is what the Turks want, but with a difficult quarter-final against Croatia, the Turkish flame may soon be snuffed out.

Better living in the present. HumbleFootball crawled up the old Roman road to the Fenerbahce Social Club, much fuller and more buoyant this time than during last week's doomed tie against Portugal. Yet, several bottles of Efes and seventy minutes later, the mood was still grim in Dalston. Two goals behind and not threatening the unflappable Petr Cech's goal , the Turks looked set for yet another rejection by Europe. Czech supporters sensed victory, including a Czech-heritaged HumbleDan, who quietly hid his glee in very British equivocation.

But, as the Turks say, "vakitsiz oten horozun basini keserler" - "the cock that crows at the wrong time is killed." And that cock was butchered by Nihat Kahveci's sumptuous 89th minute strike, in off the crossbar and totally beyond the powers of an already disgraced Petr Cech.
Like a headless chicken, HumbleDan flapped about this way and that, spewing chicken blood up and down the high street. Cue scenes of jubilation in the Social Club, with even certain non-Turk Humblers joining in the throaty Kemalist chanting.

As Turkish yoof poured in for the last few minutes - joining their elder fathers, uncles, effendis, bashas, beys, pashas, etc - we had to survive a nervous finish. With Volkan sent off, Tuncay Sanli was forced into goal. He was worried: "suruden ayrilan koyunu kurt kapar" - "the sheep separated from the flock is eaten by the wolf." But the Czech wolf failed to materialise, and the final whistle blew, sending the Turkish diaspora into the streets of Europe. Cars honked up and down Kingsland High Street, Turkish yoof and not-so-yoof chanted on street corners, and HumbleDan's headless corpse was made into chicken kebab.

Ah, HumbleDan, all will be well. The pain you feel now is but the pale shadow of pain you will inflict upon your villainous enemies. Remember: "ignegi kendine batir cuvaldizi baskasina" - "stick the needle into yourself (to see how it hurts) before you thrust the packing-needle into others."


Red Army Faction said...

Humbledan will live on. While I have to worry that Türkiye, with a large number of suspensions and no healthy center-backs, are in serious trouble.

On to the Jolly Gardeners in Vauxhall to the ostrich! ...sorry osterreich.

dan hancox said...

superb write-up.

*spurts blood all over humblekanishk*

Jake O'Leary said...

I enjoyed Tuncay in goal - he looked TERRIFIED. It was a just punishment for his god awful profligacy in this tournament so far.

kvbt said...

cheers, humblelads.

j.o., did you see tuncay raise his arms in desperate prayer?

so much for the separation of Church and Pitch.

Adrian said...

hi guys - thank you for this blog! I now know where to go to find the Turks. But where is the social club exactly?