Euro 2008: Sweden 2 Greece 0 - among the Swede

PRIOR to kick-off, three Humblers and a substantial blonde (collective noun) of Swedes are feverish with anticipation before a contest between the reigning European champions and Sweden's team of ageing ever-presents. HumbleDan approaches a Swedish man wearing full colours, speaking very slowly and carefully.

"Excuse me my friend. Can you tell me. What you think your CHANCES are in this GAME?"

Swedish man: "Ah, nah mate, I'm English, I've just got a Swedish girlfriend."

HumbleDan shakes this off, approaches another Swedish man wearing a Swedish football shirt, and repeats the question, once again s-low-ly and care-ful-ly.

Swedish man II: "Ah, nah mate, I'm English, I've just got a Swedish girlfriend."

Conclusion? There is no such thing as a Swedish man. Surprising but true. Due to a genetic quirk, the Swedes have only been producing female offspring for several decades now, which is the same reason the Swedish football team are all in their late 60s.

THE GAME was absolutely awful. Sweden lacked ideas, and Greece don't have a football team, they have the inverse of a football team; like someone turned football inside out to see what was beneath the stitching and the pretty pattern: and just like a couch cushion, it's not good. The first half was so uninspiring that we spent the second half eating in Miso on Old Street. Full match report:

*** Prawn Toast 6/10 - showed early promise, but left a bad taste in the mouth
*** Salt and Chilli Spare Ribs 9/10 - as always a consummate performer, delicate but full of panache
*** Roast Duck and Noodles 7/10 - did the job asked of it, no more

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