Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Holland 3 Italy 0 - A Grosso miscarriage of justice. But a funny one.

Humble Football continued its crawl of London's European-flavoured boozers by watching this game in the Golden Lion in Soho surrounded by Dutch folk.

A few quick points: 1) Of course, the atmosphere was awesome and the Dutch (including the Wolves lass in a Holland top) were on top form and in e(dam) good voice. 2) According to one Dutch chap before the game, Holland are analogous to England in being consistently dire in major Championships, with little-to-no detrimental effect on the masses' expectations. 3) Commiserations to the landlord of the De Hems pub on Macclesfield Street (by Chinatown), who, on the cusp of his most lucrative night of takings since July '88, suffered a powercut, sending his punters out to suckle copiously from the bosom of his nearby competitors. Doesn't that merit a minute silence these days?

The main talking point though was the newly-unearthed Unknown Rule of Football (URF). How many people before about 8pm Tuesday knew that a player lying injured, genuinely or otherwise, beyond the touchline could play someone onside? Sod all, but for a few swats.


For an essentially simple game that doesn't stand up to the weight of analysis and column inches it receives, in which the average fan can spot a foul throw from 100 metres, the URF is a truly phenomenal find; like when they find someone alive in the rubble 10 days after the earthquake.

Football is an open book compared to cricket, where there are whole chapters on 'taking the light' that remain unchartered by Aggers and CMJ, let alone Steve Bucknor.
So was the lino brilliantly aware of the URF, thus keeping his flag at half-mast? I reckon not; I think he fooked it up, making it a victory for the good guys, if not for common sense. Still, it couldn't happen to a nicer team.

7 comments:

Jake O'Leary said...

I am still angry about that penalty - witness in (ironic) contrast how Buffon got himself in the way of Van the Man but very carefully didn't deliberately make contact - basically the same thing Lucas Neill was doing.

dan hancox said...

The URF is amazing. I think it's particularly funny in light of the classic blokeybloke response to female interest in football: 'oh yeah, you think you like football do yer? Go on then lass, explain the offside rule!'

Not so easy now blokeybloke, is it?

John said...

The rule makes sense but is all in the interpretation: a defender with a Bussted leg is surely different to stepping of intentionally. There we go though.

When I Go Deaf said...

Busst = pussy

kvbt said...

seems like that must have been one of ruud's first perfectly legal goals

John said...

The true pussy was Gary Charles, who managed to suffer a Cisse-like dangling foot whilst kicking the ball.

When I Go Deaf said...

Didn't Gary Charles get found slumped over the wheel of his car, sitting in his own piss and shit? Always said it: never trust a man with two first names.