Friday 6 July 2007

Abolitionist vows to continue struggle

Despite repeated legal defeats Sheffield United will continue to seek emancipation for all South American footballing trolls. The news that the troll will be loaned out to work for a brutish new Scottish master in the north of the country, and the escape of the Sheffield United goblin (possibly by train), has not dettered Chief Executive William Lloyd Garrison, who stated 'I cannot but regard oppression in every form – and most of all, that which turns a man into a thing – with indignation and abhorrence'.

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