psyche!

The ever reliable Daily Star reports that Declan Donnelly, who first found fame after the BBC broadcast his freak paintball accident, is being sought for trials by LA Galaxy. This comes after he was spotted during a celebrity kickabout with Robbie Williams. Never let it be said that the MLS is lacking in quality players.

Some critics in the US press have accused Galaxy of foolishness as, in addition to being blind, Donnelly is unable to turn left after years of quasi-symbiotic reliance on his co-host Anthony McPartlin. Galaxy head coach Frank Yallop defended the club's interest, saying that they were hoping to be able to register 'Ant and Dec' as one player: "Donnelly may be blind and in many ways half a man, but we are hoping McPartlin can 'see for' him and whisper commands into his ear. McPartlin may also be able to act as a 'second leg' for Donnelly. We plan to cover them in geordie warpaint. The opposition won't know what hit them."

Reports that Ant and Dec would join Victoria Beckham in recording Galaxy's theme song for the coming season, a choral piece called "We Don't Need No Raasclaat Thetans", were unconfirmed at the time of press.