Friday, 6 July 2007

shara my son / go get yr fathers gun / and shoot the chelsea scum / shoot the chelsea scum





FIRE!

Leeds, the most fucked club in English football are presently being shafted by her majesty's revenue and customs for 7.7 million pounds in unpaid taxes. The case will be heard over 4 days in the start of september. Until the matter is cleared up the club cannot operate. Ken Bates will not do anything that requires commitment and will not sack Dennis Wise and Gus Poyet (manager and assistant manager) partly because all three are chelsea filth and also because it would cost him money to break their contracts.

How did this happen?

Leeds won the title in 1992, the following season they finished 17th and narrowly avoided relegation. They then carried out a long and detailed series of experiments in reverse alchemy - they were consistently successful, turning money into shit. Some examples:

Thomas Brolin (post-crippling) £4.5 million (1995)
Lee Bowyer (£2.6 million) (1996)
Michael Duberry (£4.5 million) (1999)
Danny Mills (£4.1 million) (1999)
Michael Bridges (£5 million) (1999)
Darren Huckerby (£4 million) (1999)
Oliver Dacourt (£7.2 million) (2000)
Robbie Fowler (£11 million) (2001)
Robbie Keane (£12 million) (2001)

I'm sure there are more, but my memory escapes me - I've not included Rio Ferdinand because they actually managed to make a profit out of him.

Another issue was wages - Peter Risdale thought it was a good idea to have his entire team on trophy salaries. So Danny Mills was being payed for his entire 5 year contract even though he broke it after 2 years. Robbie Fowler was being payed in severance until last season. Aaron Lennon, Chapeltown born and product of Leeds' academy was on a bonus packet that meant the club couldn't afford to play him.

In 2007 - the stadium has been sold, the club are in the third tier and may still cease to operate, Leeds United are run by chelsea scum and worst of all pigeons routinely shit on the Billy Bremner statue in front of the stadium.

Bring back Lucas Radebe. No, clone Lucas Radebe and make him occupy every position at the club. No, clone Lucas Radebe and make him occupy every position at the club and at HM revenue and customs. And have the ghost of Billy Bremner garotte Bates with ginger piano wire.

FIRE! FORWARD!


6 comments:

Tan said...

shoot them

roid rage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
roid rage said...

Surely the ultimate bad buy was Seth Johnson. £7m and this:
There is a story that when Johnson arrived at Leeds to discuss his contract, his agent wanted to hold out for £13,000 a week. Peter Ridsdale entered the room and said "Right, I'm sorry but I can only offer you thirty thousand a week". Johnson's agent uttered some exclamation of disbelief and so Ridsdale said "Alright, thirty-eight thousand then".

roid rage said...

...and describing Robbie Keane as shit is a bit harsh, no? Unless you're talking about the goal celebration (now defunct).

Chris said...

point taken - keane isn't so shit, but they did manage to make a £5 million loss on him - i'm unaware of the murky salary he may have been offered/maintained on.

I'd forgotten about seth johnson - my blood boils with bad memories. The search for the new Mel Sterland will continue.

roid rage said...

The worst bit of business though was selling Cantona to Man U for bugger all.
Just remembered another one: Roque Junior.