Showing posts with label Manchester. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manchester. Show all posts

Friday, 13 July 2007

Corruption, Trolls, Iran, Russian Dissidents, Shadowy Businessmen! - Humble Football reports.


Carlitos Tevez's move to Manchester was placed under further scrutiny today. Tevez's owner and master, Iranian 'businessman' Kia Joorabchian and his dissident billionaire mate Boris Berezovsky, have been charged with money laundering in Brazil. Further charges will be laid later today and are expected to include human-trafficking and cruelty to trolls.

The charges further complicate one of the most convoluted transfer saga's in the history of the Premiership. It is now likely that West Ham, the club that nominally own Tevez, will be docked points in the coming season, despite avoiding a points deduction last season when Tevez was crucial in ensuring they survived relegation. Sheffield United, the club relegated instead of West Ham, will continue to contest an outcome even Premier League Officials admitted was unfair.

Meanwhile it seems highly likely that Manchester United and Liverpool, who were involved in a similar transfer of Tevez's Argentinian team-mate Javier Mascherano, will avoid paying transfer fees for two key members of the best international side on the planet. The saga re-emphasises the level of corruption in the global footballing industry and the massive disparity of wealth between European and South American clubs. All of this occurs in a week when South American football has demonstrated both its incredible beauty and arguable tactical superiority.

Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Noveau riche b£stard taunts workers

Alex Ferguson, fresh from promoting Alastair Campbell's book, has cemented his place in hell by taunting those less fortunate than himself. Said 'Sir' Alex: 'The poor are poor for a reason, they are lazy scum'. When questioned further about United's financial position and the debt-financing embarked upon by his fundamentalist Christian backers, Ferguson was far from contrite, 'you wee communist bastard, this is capitalism, it is my prerogative to steal, cheat and enslave trolls'.